Man Overboard!

An outreach awareness drama

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Characters: aristocratic man (M) and his wife (W).
Setting: after a fine dinner on an ocean cruise, on the stern, looking over the sea as the sun is setting.
Props: none necessary; although clothes suggesting smart evening dress, a representation of a ship’s handrail, and orange lighting for sunset, can be used.

W: Oh Dahhhhhling, what a wonderful cruise this has been … and that dinner!

M: Yes, lovie, it surely has been a wonderful time. God seems to be smiling on us! Why, if it hadn’t been for those new accounts, we might not have been able to …

W: Dahhhhhling, look at that [pointing to the distant ocean]. What is that [peering]? M: Why I believe it is … it … it’s a man, dearest [shaking his head, satisfied with his answer].

W: Oh, dear, dear [pausing inquisitively]. What do you suppose he is doing there?

M: Deaarest … I believe that man has fallen over board. Why … can you see him waving his hands at us [they smile, wave back brightly]. Does he look distressed to you, lovie pie?

W: [hands to the mouth, on her tippie toes, shouting] Hey you, there! Stop waving your hands. You’ll get tired if you do that! [looks back distressed at husband]

M: Yes, yes, that’s right dear. Very correct! Oh Oh, wait, he’s gone under [wife looks alarmed, hands to face]. Do you suppose he is in trouble?

W: [relieved] Oh my goodness [sighs]. He came back up again. Dahhhhling, you try something.

M: Rightie-oh, scrumptions pie! [shouting to the back of the auditorium] Can you make those swirlie motions with your hands in the water [gesticulates with his hands]?

W: So good of you, dahhhhhling. So smart. Now I know why I … oh dear! He’s gone down again [looking flustered in frozen fashion, pausing for 3-4 seconds, grabs chest]. Oh, thank God! He came up again. [turns to husband] Do you think we should do something?

M: [proud of his good idea] How about this. [shouting to the back, hands cupped] Hey, you there, can you stop drinking in so much water. I say, you’ll never swim well doing that!

W: [proudly taps husband on the shoulder] So good of you, dahhhhhhhhling. Oh dear!!!! He’s gone down again! [flustered … both staring in frozen fashion, pausing for 3-4 seconds, slowly look back at each other]

M: I … I … I seem to have missed him dear [uncomfortable that his evening has been messed, guilty because he didn’t do anything]. Do you, do you …?

W: Why no, I … I … Do you suppose there was something we could have done?

M: Well, honey bunches, I don’t see what we can doooooooo for the man if he won’t heed our advice [proud about the correctness of their logic, she takes his arm, both turn to the side, slowly walk off]

© Original author: unknown. Revised 1994: Rob Francis. Permission: this drama may be freely performed in any setting without restriction. It may also be copied or redistributed in any form, providing that this credit line is included.

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