Angie’s Story

My broken CD player

Aaarh! Was I angry? I had spilt a full cup of coffee all over my CD player. Just when I was going to play my new Mojos album too! I won't write down the things I said at the time – I nearly threw the cup out of the window with temper!

Yet this became a turning point in my life. First thing next day, I went down to our local repair shop Micro HiFi. Felipe the manager was a friend of our family. "Give me two days," he said, "It will be easy." As I turned to open the door, he called me back. "Angie, we have a special music evening tomorrow for young people at the church. I think you'd like it."

"Uh-huh, maybe," I replied. I really did not like church meetings, though I used to go as a child. I wanted to plan my own life, set my own goals. I didn't need help – that was for old people.

But that night, with no music to listen to, and nothing good on radio or TV, I began to think. Is there more to life? Maybe there is a real reason for living? Perhaps even a way to be really fulfilled and happy? I'd felt very empty since splitting up with my boyfriend Mick two months before. Music seemed to fill the empty space a bit. But you can't listen to music all the time!

Hiding my face

As I walked home past the shops, my head seemed to be going round and round. I didn't want to 'give in' to God. But could all this stuff be really true?

Next day, I ran down to the hi-fi shop in my lunch-break. "All fixed," said Felipe. "And did you like the meeting?" "Yeah, OK," I said, not wanting to talk about it. "Would you like to read this?" said Felipe, giving me a small booklet. That evening, I set up my CD player, started to play my new album, and then found Felipe's booklet still in the box. It was a 'Gospel of John' – part of the Bible. I started at the beginning and kept reading right through. I'd read parts of the Bible before, but they never made much sense to me. But now! It was as if God was speaking directly to me. One line I especially remember – the words:

"I am the light for the world! Follow me, and you won't be walking in darkness".

That night really was a turning point for me. I felt a sort of peace inside I'd never felt before. And a lightheaded happiness. As the days went on, I slowly learned more about Jesus. I found he was helping me, day by day, to make decisions, handle difficult situations, and understand other people better. Life took on a whole new meaning.

I often look at my CD player – I'm just so glad I spilled that coffee over it!

Critique

• Angie has started off with an attention-grabbing personal incident that all of us can identify with.

• The title is attention-getting too, with no mention of religion.

• She gives lots of real detail about her life – the album she bought, her reaction to spilling the coffee, the coat collar pulled up. Straight away, we can visualize these scenes.

• She has used real conversation. We can easily picture this conversation in the shop.

• Because she seems 'real', it is easier to believe her account. A good novelist or film producer creates characters who seem real to us rather than two-dimensional. In writing testimonies, we also must aim to create reality. Poet Philip Larkin used this as a way of judging literature. He suggested that we could judge whether writing was believable by asking ourselves – "did I care?".

• She has used no jargon words at all. The only Christian-related words are 'church', 'God', 'Jesus', 'Gospel' (in the sense of a printed gospel – and that has been defined), and 'Bible'. Nevertheless, within her writing, she has explained 'Gospel', 'grace', 'repentance', and a relationship with God.

• She has kept to fairly short sentence length with easy verb and sentence construction. Her story is therefore accessible, even to a second language English speaker on the Internet.

• She has used some words from the Bible, but in the context of the story. She has avoided the Christian word 'verse', and also decided not to mention the reference, though she could have done so. (Many people are completely unfamiliar with these.) The quote is from a modern translation too. Whatever Bible translation you may prefer for personal study, where you want technical accuracy, evangelism needs a modern easy-to-understand version. A web-page may also link directly to a single verse, group of verses, or chapter at Bible Gateway.

• She deliberately did not mention whether she was still at school/college or at work. This way, she felt that a wider range of people could identify with her story. However it would be an option to give more details about her background, family, education, if these facts would make her seem more 'real'.

• Almost everyone can identify with the split from her boyfriend – loneliness is a real felt need.

• Note she doesn't even say she 'prayed' – a word which means different things to different people; she just 'asked'. The little detail of putting her head on the CD box makes this seem more real. We can picture her doing it.

• She decided not to use the term 'the Lord' for God (as she did in the first version), because it is a term more commonly used by Christians and could make non-Christians feel uncomfortable. Another writer might take a different view.

• She has wisely decided not to capitalize 'him' and 'his' in relation to God, because this looks religious.

• Angie spent a lot of time editing and revising her first draft with the help of Arif and another friend. In fact this took much longer than writing the original item. She was amazed to discover that her final word-count was half that of the first draft!

• She could usefully use a 'byline' under the title, similar to the first line on the version below.

A third way of writing this testimony would be in a magazine 'third person' style with quoted speech. So Angie chatted with Elizabeth, who works on a local paper. Together, they put together this short feature...

Coffee and CD players don't mix

Angie Ferrand, 17, is a graphics student from Millstown, Panavia. Feature writer Elizabeth Odobo met up with her to hear the story.

Angie Ferrand is glad she spilt coffee over her treasured CD player! "It was a turning point in my life," she claims. But she was really angry at the time.

She had returned home from college, eager to play her new Mojos album. In her rush to switch on, her full cup of coffee tipped right inside the machine. "Don't write what I said next," she laughs.

Next day's trip to the hi-fi repair shop led to an encounter with family friend Felipe Mateo, the shop technician. Felipe is also a youth worker at the town's church. "I mentioned to Angie that we had a youth meeting the next day with guest band called Dynamite," he remembers. "But Angie did not seem keen to come along."

Outwardly, Angie was a successful student. But she had been feeling very empty since splitting up with Mick, her regular boyfriend for over a year. An evening with no music to blot out the pain forced her to think about life. Did it have any real meaning?

So next evening, she reluctantly went to hear the band. She tried to cover her face with her coat collar, not wanting friends to see her going to 'somewhere religious'. "I didn't want anyone laughing at me in college," she says.

"I went home with my head spinning"

Back at the repair shop next day, she didn't want to talk about the concert with Felipe. But he gave her a small booklet to take home in the CD player's box. It was a part of the Bible – 'John's Gospel'. With her CD working again and her new album at full volume, she sat down to read the booklet. Though she had read parts of the Bible before, they never seemed to make sense. This time, it was different. It was as if God was speaking to her from every page. One line she remembers particularly: "I am the light for the world. Follow me, and you won't be walking in the dark. You will have the light that gives life."

Head on the box

Did it make a difference? "Yes," says Angie. "I've found God helping me in practical ways. Problems have been easier to handle, and I have been able to relate to other people much better. There's this inner peace I never had before. Now I feel accepted and not often lonely any more."

Critique

• This style also works well. It could be used on a web-site, in a tract, church neighborhood newsletter, or any print medium.

• Little details are again used to make events seem real.

• Quotes from a second character add interest and back up the truth of the story.

• Though Angie could put her own story into this 'third person' format, it was easier for someone else to interview her and Felipe, and create a magazine-style feature.

• Again, no Christian vocabulary has been used apart from 'God', 'Jesus', 'Bible', and 'Gospel' (in the sense of a printed booklet – which has been defined). The word 'testimony' has been carefully avoided.

• It shows that her faith is benefiting her life in practical ways which a non-Christian would also desire. However, she could amplify this to explain more clearly that her new faith is not merely beliefs, but a real close and personal relationship.

• The feature avoids gushing, preaching, exaggeration, or portraying her as a perfect angel! Readers are left with the space and freedom to make their own assessment of the story. 1 Pet. 3:17 stresses the use of sensitivity when we share the Gospel with others:

  "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect..." (NIV)

• The photo of 'Angie' adds greatly to our ability to identify with her and her story. Journalists tell us that ideally, a picture should always have a caption underneath it.

• It is recommended journalistic practice to sum up a whole story in the first one or two sentences. We suggest however that for a testimony, it may be better to reveal the actual conversion gradually. However, it is good to start with a key event, something which is pivotal to the story.

• An online testimony page can include a sound version in RealPlayer or MP3 format. It might not necessarily be the same text. The spoken version could be a short summary, give additional material not on the web-page, or tell the story in a different way to complement the written version.

It's your turn!

It is a challenge to write in a way which communicates clearly to non-Christians, giving them a sense of need:

"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea."
Antoine de Saint Exupery

Angie's Story is in fact rather a 'text-book' example. Most people in fact have a more confused and complicated story. Sometimes, there are several stages of finding God, or even disobedience or confusion. Tell it how it happened, don't try to squeeze into some imaginary ideal. But address issues that non-Christians are interested in, without any religious language. Read about the Gray Matrix and how evangelistic writing should target people at the bottom left-hand of this very useful scale. Then check how and why different websites can be assigned different positions on the X-Spectrum.

Testimony-writing resources